BACK TO UGANDA 

"Stepping out wholly dependent on God to come through, stepping away from what is secure and comfortable exposes the holes in our faith. And then if God comes through, it expands our faith. Something about stepping off cliffs where God leads, allows God the opportunity to move in greater ways. When we step off and He shows up, we see Him differently than we would if we were standing safely looking over the edge." -Jennie Allen 

Sitting here, attempting to write this fundraising page, is not easy. My thoughts are scattered everywhere in my mind and I am battling the temptation of trying to write something that will capture someone's eye and make myself look like I am doing a good deed. My intentions in writing this fundraising page are not to just simply raise money to make this process of going back to Uganda easier on myself. My intention is to try to express my feelings and thoughts in to a way that will reflect the deep passion and love I have for the Almighty God that has blessed me with a desire this fierce for something that sometimes seems like an impossible dream.

My heart beats for the children, culture, and atmosphere of Uganda. My first time in Uganda was the summer of my senior year. I was there for almost two weeks and I fell in love. I loved it so much I asked my sweet Savior to comfort my needy and broken heart because I longed to go back so badly. I prayed for opportunity and because He is faithful, I was able to intern there for a whole summer. Interning there was rewarding and challenging at the same time. Each day exposed so many different realities to me about people, The Lord, and myself. There were moments when I doubted being there and convinced myself I was incapable of making it another day away from my family. These moments of doubt revealed areas of my heart that I was unaware of. The way the Lord so gently orchestrated each moment of each day slowly continued to capture and comfort my heart in a way that I am unable to express. Being in Uganda has taught me so much about the world around me. I use to think that although there are so many people on this planet that it was a lot smaller than the reality that I chose to ignore. The children in Uganda set ablaze a fire in my heart that burns for people everywhere. A fire that will no longer be put out due to the darkness that is present in the world. The joy these children carry is contagious. The beauty that shines through just a humble smile from one of them is simply refreshing. They genuinely love our Lord and continually seek after Him in ways that encourage and inspire me. I praise God for the way I see Him through these children. I praise Him for those tough days that were filled with early mornings, muddy chacos, bath time for stubborn kids, and field days that were exhausting. I praise Him for still using those moments in Uganda to mold me and shape me in to a woman that is striving to serve and follow Him. My pride, doubt, and selfishness constantly affect my everyday walk but the beauty of those weaknesses continually motivates me to attempt to keep my eyes upon His Name and to trust in the unknown because, what is faith without mystery? 

As I finish this, I can’t help but to fall more deeply in love with the way The Lord works. After my first time in Uganda I was afraid that since I loved it so much that I was idolizing it and that it was wrong of me to love another country so much. I’ve had people say to me multiple times, “Why go to Uganda when you can stay and make an impact here?” I battled answering that. I prayed about it and I talked to Jesus a lot about why my heart loved Uganda and after interning there He gently revealed to me Psalm 37:4. This verse says, “Delight yourself in The Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” This verse is common and frequently overlooked but it completely reflects how blessed we are to be loved and cared for by such a BIG and wonderful God. I prayed for this verse to become a part of my thinking and I praise Him for putting a desire for Uganda in my underserving heart. Now, a desire to me is defined by passion and by unreservedly allowing our All-knowing Lord to make our hearts His home. I am excited and eager to let Him work in me and through me for the advancement of His Kingdom. He is mighty and His love is fierce and I long to be close to Him for the rest of my days. 

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4